Beth

lost

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 19:00:25 GMT

my grandma died last week, i started classes the next day, my internship the day after that, and the next day kevin moved away. it has been a rough week or so. i just want a break, i really just need a break. i can't seem to make myself happy...my mom is miserable, and so am i at times. i'm so happy with mary, and i'm happy and my internship, it's just sometimes i get real sad and can't seem to shake it. too many things changed at once, i guess. i miss her so much...and i can't seen to get the way she looked right before she died out of my head. i should have been able to do more. i didn't have the guts to say anything to her bc if i opened my mouth i cried. so i just looked at her and talked to her through my head. stupid...i lost my chance...
jeff came home this weekend, and then left, and now i miss him tons, too. i really just gotta snap outta this funk i'm in. but once you're down, it's hard to get up. kinda like ice skating, follow me on this one: ice skating isn't that hard once you know what you're doing. however, when you fall, it's crazy hard to get back up again, and inside youjust wanna say fuck it, i'm just gonna lay on the cold ice and never get up, because that seems easiest. but then someone can come along and help you up off the ice, and that makes it easier. that's where mary comes in. she really is trying the best she can, and shes helping so much. i just feel like everytime i get sad she thinks it's because of her or beacuse she's not doing a good enough job. but it's not that at all. it's just not easy for me to snap out of this. i guess i just need to lay on the cold ice for awhile.
i don't think i made any sort of sense whatsoever there. i just want one day to do nothing, and cry if i want, and laugh if i want, and get away from rochester/geneseo/brockport...
i want kevin
i want to move
i want to be tangled in mary
i wanna be 8 again

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 22:31:24 GMT

You Are a Bright Star Soul

Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention
In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you
You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial
And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive

You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy
You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define
A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles.
Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally!

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 16:07:46 GMT

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. beth
2. pinkerton
3. punky

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. ItsLifeorBeth (currently)
2. KazooIntoIt83
3. Lova783

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my left leg from knee to foot
2. eyes
3. sarcasim

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. too chubby
2. i'm too insecure
3. sarcasim

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. irish
2. english
3. italian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. germs/vomiting
2. car accidents
3. the future

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. live strong bracelet
2. hair tie
3. cell phone

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. baggy jeans
2. long sleeve white shirt
3. blue pumas

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
1. O.A.R.
2. ani
3. guster

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. liz phair- ride
2. jimmy fallon- idiot boyfriend
3. maroon 5- sunday mornings

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. losing weight
2. ecstasy
3. drive cross country...or at least to another state

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. comfort
2. humor
3. security

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. my pants are too tight
2. i have one more final
3. i will never smoke weed again

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. hands
2. eyes
3. mouths

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. wake up early
2. study on time
3. not act like a toddler when i'm tired

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. singing
2. fun adventures
3. reading for fun
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. go home (currently in geneseo awaiting my next final)
2. sleep
3. take off these damn pants

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. social worker
2. running gay center
3. teacher
(adding a fourth for fun)
4. stay at home mom...i hate having to go to work

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. london
2. california
3. colorado

THREE KID'S NAMES
1. jonah
2. elijiah
3. gabriel

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. be able to legally get married
2. have kids and raise them
3. not work or do anything concrete for a month or 2 and just go around doing what i want

sick and sick and tired

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 20:54:21 GMT

i have so much crap to do this next week. and i really mean crap. college has gone from being cool, new and/or exciting, to being a sore on the neck of my life. i hate it, and i can't wait until i am done. i just keep looking forward to next semester, when i will only be taking one real class, on sexual diversity, and then an internship at aids rochester. i'm hoping this makes for a less stressful Me. this weekend i have to accomplish:
-intro. to visual arts paper on some movie called dirty pictures
-women's studies paper on applying homophoboa to bunch's theory of problems or some shit (homophobia is not shit, the class and bunch's theory are, just to clarify)
-prepare presentation for homophobia paper
-do write up of some reading in women's studies (and i would like to add that she just emailed me and added this on to my shit to do. NOT cool when a prof just adds to the syllabus when she feels)
-try and finish my english journal on 20 poems by 12 different living poets (if anyone knows of ANY good or really bad poets/poems that i can write about PLEASE send them my way)
-philosophy reading like whoa

and to top all this stupid shit off, i am very sick.

suck my balls geneseo...

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 23:15:36 GMT


boston is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 13:21:16 GMT

Bored? ((Over 100 questions))
Created by xSwtLilAngel666x and taken 46334 times on bzoink!
[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? ::	beth
Birthplace ::	rochester,ny
Age ::	21
Age you act ::	depends on the situation
Current location ::	geneseo,ny
Eye color ::	brown
Hair color ::	brown
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::	righty
Zodiac sign? ::	cancer
Height? ::	6'2"
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality ::	irish,english, slovac, italian, jewish (i just found about about this) and some other stuff
Your hair ::	a little past my shoulders
Your fears ::	germs,vomiting,being alone forever, hallways, people chasing me
Your perfect room ::	my bedroom i suppose...
What you practically do in a day ::	tues/thurs go to 4 classes then go to mary's...thur night thru mon morning am at mary's hanging out and doing work...wed at mary's...sunday i go home to see my parents
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::	btw, baby, fuck
Phrases you overuse ::	wokka wokka wokka
Your first thought when you wake up ::	i don't wanna
Your greatest accomplishment ::	getting this sexual diversities class offered here at geneseo
Something you want to do ::	get married and have kids
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::	coke
McDonald's or Burger Kings ::	mcdonald's
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::	britney is a commercilized star, and i read in people that christina is a bitch...so i pick christina
Chocolate or vanilla ::	vanilla
Adidas or Nike ::	adidas
Black or white ::	both
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::	bills
Burgers or hot dogs ::	hotdogs if they are homemade, and burgers only at fast food places
Egypt or France ::	i have no clue
Rock or rap ::	rock
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::	yup...i'll quit when i graduate, i promise
Cuss ::	like a sailor
Sing well ::	when i want to
Sing in the shower ::	yeah sometimes
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::	haha, yeah sometimes
Believe in yourself ::	usually, not so much as far as school goes though
Like taking these longass surveys? ::	only when i am waiting to go to class or can't sleep
Play an instrument ::	not currently but i played the cello in 8th grade for like 6 months and was so bad i had to play in the hallway
Want to go to college? ::	bitch i'm graduating from college in may
Want to get married? ::	yes
Want to have children? ::	yes
Think you're a health freak? ::	bahahaha...no
Get along with your parents ::	yes
Get along with your siblings? ::	usually...but he can be really mean sometimes
Think you're popular ::	not really
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::	no
Drank alchohal ::	yes
Smoke ::	yes
Get high ::	yes
Done any drugs ::	yes
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::	no
Been on stage ::	no
Gone skinny dipping ::	no
Been dumped ::	no
Dyed your hair ::	yes
Stolen anything ::	no
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest ::	janelle
Loudest ::	kevin
Most shy ::	beth
Blondest ::	janelle
Smartest ::	kevin
Kindest ::	ian
Best personality ::	they're all different, i can't judge this
Most talented ::	kevin
Best singer ::	kevin, only bc i sing with him in the car all the time
Most ghetto ::	ellen and ian
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::	kevin and i are tied,i'd say
Pain in the ass ::	not answering
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::	not answering
Funniest ::	janelle
Best person for advice ::	kevin
Dependable ::	kevin
Trustworthy ::	kevin
Druggie ::	nichole
Most likely to end up in jail ::	nichole...but she doesn't really steal that much anymore
Person you've known the longest ::	stepahnie
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::	anna made me take acid and water the lawn
Last nightmare ::	i don't remember but i woke up crying
Car ride ::	like a 3 min ride from my apartment to a side street today for school
Last time you cried ::	last night/this morning
Last movie seen ::	the grudge
Last movie rented ::	9 lives...it blew
Last book read ::	school books
Last word said ::	hmmm...i think i said see ya to elisha before i left for class this morning
Last curse word said ::	probably fuck
Last time you laugh ::	last night with kevin becky andmary before i left mary's
Last phone call ::	mary
Last CD played ::	rent
Last song you listened to ::	celion dion so this is christmas...bahaha...
Last annoyance ::	this pain in my side
Last IM ::	mary and steph remick
Last weird encounter ::	in my room at home someone took all the screws out of my chair and lined them up on their heads by the cross...my house is alittle effed up
Last person you hugged ::	mary
Last person you yelled at ::	becky and sarah when they made fun of me
Last time you wore a skirt ::	oh i don't even know
Last time you've been evil ::	last night
Sarcastic? ::	last night
Last time you fought with your parents ::	a few weeks ago, maybe
Last time you wished upon a star ::	a few months ago
Played Truth or Dare ::	i don't know
Spent quality time alone ::	last night
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::	no
Do you feel lonely ::	no
Ever TP'd someone's house ::	no
How about egging someone's house ::	no
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::	what?
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::	no
Yo Momma ::	is so fat she walked into a restaurant, looked at the menu and said, 'ok!'
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::	yes
What do you think of George Bush? ::	don't even get me started on him
Any secret fetishes? ::	yes
Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::	no
How many languages do you speak? ::	1
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::	kinda
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) ::	only bc i gotta go to class...
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 05:42:15 GMT

1) Name: beth
2) Birthday: jult 12, 1983
3) Zodiac Sign: cancer
4) Sex: female
5) What Time Is It? 1:20am and i can't sleep

Last Person who...
6) Called You: mary
7) Slept In Your Bed: mary
8) Saw You Cry: mary
9) Made You Cry: my dad
10) Spent The Night At Your House: mary
11) You Shared A Drink With: mary
12) You Went To The Movies With: mary, ian, becky, joie and sarah. we saw the grudge--horrible movie but it scared me
13) You Went To The Mall with: my mom and mary
14) Yelled At You: my dad
15) Sent You An Email: i sent myself my power point presentation
16) Said They Were Gonna Kill You: eww...creepy...

Have you ever...
17) Taken A Picture Of Yourself With A Milk Mustache And Sent It to The
Milk People: bahaha...no but i will now. you can do that??
18) Said "I Love You" And Not Mean it: yeah
19) Gotten Into A Fight With Your Dog/Cat/Bird/Fish/Etc.?: yes but i claim it wasn't my fault
20) Been To New York? yes
21) Been To Florida? no
22) California? no
23) Hawaii? no
24) Mexico? no
25) China? no
26) Canada? yes
27) Danced Naked? once time the summer after freshman year with kevin when i was wasted, and pictures got taken and began circulating...NOT a good thing
28) Dreamed Something Really Crazy And Then It Happens The Next Day? a few days later yes, but thats a whole nother story
29) Stalked Someone? define stalked...
30) Had A Mud Bath? no, i've fallen in mud before and then had to TAKE a bath...if that counts
32) Had An Imaginary Friend? i think i pretended too bc i wanted to be cool...and i think it was a huge gerbil
33) What time is it? 1:24pm

This or that...
34) apples Or bananas? apples
35) Red Or Blue? blue
36) What happened to question 36? this is the question...dumbass...
37) Wal Mart Or Target? target
38) Spring Or fall? fall
39) Santa Or Rudolph? hmmm...cupid and dancer
40) Math Or English? english
41) What Are You Going To Do After You Finish This Survey? try and fall asleep again
42) What Was The Last Food You Ate? a frsoty from wendys
43) High School Or College? two years ago i would have said college...now i'm sticking with tin on this one, high school was pie and i miss it
44) Are You Bored with life? nope
45) How Many Of Your Buddies are on? 83
46) Last Movie You Saw? angels in america
47) Last Noise You Heard: i dropped ass a min. ago

Which One Of Your Friends...
48) Laughs The Weirdest? nichole
49) Will Grow Up And Be A Model? we're gown up, and none of us
50) Going To Have The Most Kids? ellen
51) Have You Known The Longest? stephanie
52) Loudest? nichole, kevin
53) Is The Quietest? mary when she wants to be
54) Do You Have The Most Classes with? none
56) Who Is The Funniest? kevin
57) Who Is The Moodiest? kevin

I deleted a section because I didn't like it.
*I don't know who deleted this section but it pisses me off so i am going to make one up*
Would You Rather...
58) Bush or Kerry: Kerry...clearly...
59) Madonna or Cher: esther
60) Ozzy or Jack Osbourn: jack...i think he's cute
61) Sandra Bullock or Ashley Judd: SOOO hard to answer...so hard in fact i can't do it, and i'll just imagine both
62) The comic book guy or Moe from the Simpsons: moe, he's a nice guy deep down...just lonely and misunderstood
63) Your mom or Anna Nichole BEFORE trimspa: anna nichole
64) Mary-Kate or Ashley: Ashley
65) Lucy or Mary Camden: mary
66) Jack Black or Bam Margera: jack bc he's a funny bastard

A Couple more Questions...
67) Last Time You Went Out Of State: my sophomore year i went to montreal
68) Lucky #'s: 51
69) Things You Like In A Girl/Guy?: sensitive, funny, nice hands, smell good, be an XX
70) Weirdest Thing About You? my height, my humor, my personality...but hate the wrod weird
71) Do you have crush on someone? yea
73) Do you have a Boyfriend/Gilfriend: yes
74) What's his/her name? mary
75) What Do You Think About Ouija Boards? don't fuck with that shit!!
76) What Book Are You Reading Now? anything boring dull and required by the lovely professors here at SUNY Geneseo
77) What's On Your Mouse Pad? navy...gross i know but it was my brothers
78) Favorite Board Game: scattegories and trical pursuit, but only the editions i can answer the questions for
80) Favorite Sound: rain and thunder
81) Worst Feeling In The World: right before you throw up, massive poops, and a broken heart
82) What Is The First Thing You Think When You Wake Up In The Morning: depends on if i'm alone and have to go to class, which would be shit i hate this, or waking up with mary and having the day off, which i do 5-6/7 days, then it's nice
84) How Many Rings Before You Answer? when i get to it
85) Future Daughter's name: FIRST of all!! TIN, i wanted to name my daughter ella, and not that i cant now bc you are, but i wanted to be the only one, at least in the world of livejournal.
86) Future Son's Name: jonah
87) Chocolate Or Vanilla? vanilla
88) Do You Sleep With A Stuffed animal? velvey
83) Favorite Alcoholic Drink? blue light or sex on the beach or barcardo o and sprite
89) If You Could Have Any Job You Wanted, What Would It Be? race car driver, singer, or professional lesbian...i would really like to be a professional lesbian and just go around being gay and shit
90) What Is Your Favorite Snapple? snapple apple.
91) Are You A Lefty, Righty, Ambidextrous? righty
92) What is Love? alan alman on warm 101.3
92) Where Do You Want To Be Right Now? marys bed
93) Anything Else? my right leg hurts real fuckin bad.
peace love and same sex marriage

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 19:24:33 GMT

You know the drill, put a star next to the shit that's true for you. I don't post in like 43 months, then I do this. Enjoy...

*(of course i have)-kissed someone of the same sex.
*seen a therapist.
*youngest child.
*extremely influenced by kindness.
love to write.
can't live without lipgloss
*probably emotionally scarred.
lived in Tahoe.
*spend money I dont have.
be in college for over 4 years.
love designer handbags.
*i've had a concussion before.
not good with confrontation.
loved the Backstreet Boys
*have more than a couple horrible memories.
*i'm spiritual but not religious.
first kiss was unexpected.
*love taking pictures.
*hate girls who are fake.
*can be mean when I want to.
*when i allow myself to get close to people, i get very attached.
have way too many pairs of shoes.
*( but ONLY because USA plays it all the time, not because i want to!)-seen "She's All That" at least 5 times.
*dress how i feel that day.
*sometimes i cry for almost no reason.
*dislike when people are ridiculously late.
procrastinate.
winter is my favorite season.
have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
*i love to sleep.
*wish i were smarter.
believe that it is wrong to be gay.
no one really knows me.
love my hair.
*sometimes fight with my parents.
*passionate about my interests.
*have had the chicken pox.
*a hopeless romantic.
feel empty sometimes.
*am very outgoing at times.
*christmas is my favorite holiday.
*can be very insecure.
i don't notice it, but i'm told i'm very soft spoken.
*dislike ignorant people.
*i'm a happy person.
i'm extremely mellow.
hate cleaning my room.
*tend to get jealous.
love to play video games.
get more upset when i see an animal hurt than a person.
i'm a vegetarian/vegan.
*don't like to study for tests.
*i am too forgiving.
have a good sense of direction.
*i am not addicted to drugs.
i wear contacts.
*president bush is a complete and utter moron.
*i become stressed easily.
*i don't take critism well.
*i love my family.
*i don't mind getting shots.
i am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things.
*i always wanted to learn to play the drums. (i did learn how, but i've probably forgot now)
*i can be too hard on myself.
i don't like my nose.
*i am ridiculously indecisive.
*i love music.
*i'm in love.
*i have problems letting go of people.
*i tend to think with my heart more then my head.
*i don't really like ice cream

school

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 23:47:15 GMT

i don't want to go back to school. i want to be happy about this. i'm so afraid of going back and being sad. being sad sucks, especially when you've been so unbelievably happy all summer.

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 21:26:54 GMT

so i go back to school soon. crazy soon. my rent is due in 2 weeks, and i have been trying to get my dad to talk to me about money for like a month or something. and now, when i FINALLY force him to talk to me, he wants me to give him a budget of what i need to live on. well dad, i didnt know you wanted a budget and i have no idea what i'm gonna spend to live on. i'm sorry the economy in rochester fuckin sucks so my shitty ass summer job gives me 0-12 hours a week and i only have $49 in my bank account. i have NOTHING to live on right now, i can barely afford my own gas, let alone anything i really am going to need to live on. he promised me if i could make my loan money for junior year last til this summer he would pay for everything my senior year and i would have nothing to worry about. well, pops, i made that money last til i had about $12 left and FINALLY found a job. and now, 2 weeks before my senior year at geneseo, he's got nothing. and i'm not pissed because he can't afford it. i'm pissed because he shouldn't make promises he can't keep, and because he doesn't tell me ANYTHING regarding my money situation. he'll just get loans and pay or shit and then tell me i'm going to owe the bank. well dad, why don't you just TALK to me about my monet situation so i can make some decisions. so now i'm broke, angry and my father, and just wanna get out of the house so i don't have to look at him. and that makes me feel horrible, that i'm so upset i don't want to see him, but i can't help it.

bored

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 19:43:49 GMT

i'm so bored right now. i didn't have to work today. see, delta sonic works like this...you call one hour before your shift and they either tell you to come in, call back in another hour, or have the day off. today i called, called back again an hour later, and they gave me the day off. now it's nice, it really is...but mary's at work til late, so i'm very anxious sitting around with not much to do. she's coming over after work and spending the night here, in my arms, which is an amazing feeling :) then tomorrow morning we are off to brooklyn to see sandy play, and i am crazy excited. it should be a really good time. we're staying out on long island with jaime, and i really think me, mare, sandy, jaime and all their friends are really going to have a rocking time.

in like 2 weeks or something i leave for maine, also wacky excited about that. one week with my baby and our friends in the woods. it's gonna be a good time.

jeff and i are not on speaking terms. in fact he went back to school last weekend without even seeing me to say goodbye. basically he freaked out on me for an argument i had with my mother that had nothing to do with him, it had to do with financial things. i don't think he understands what it's like to actually have to PAY for school and not GET paid for going. i'm sick of him teating me like dick in front of my friends, of making fun of me, and of just being some jerk who thinks he's so superior. the last straw was him leaving. i can honestly say i think it'e the one thing he's done in his life that has hurt me more than i can explain, and he just doesn't care. he screamed some of the most hateful things he's ever said to me. so we haven't spoken since, and honestly, right now i'm still too hurt to think about speaking to him anytime soon.

i think i'm going to go play the sims now...peace love and same sex marriage...

muggy-ness blows

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 18:27:03 GMT

oh it's been a long long time i feel. i don't remember what i put in my last post, so i may repeat here. i finally got a job. i work at delta sonic, it's okay, i get to wear a clip on tie, so that's cool. however, to make my job sound more interesting when people ask where i work i don't say a car wash, i say, "i work the revitalizer at sonic", then they think i do something cool at a club or something.
jeff comes home today, in like 2 hours his flight lands. i'm excited, maybe i can get him to come to the gay pride picnic tomorrow. yeah...probably not. maybe ian will go with me. mary has to work so she can't come.
ahh mary, she is my girlfriend. who ever thought beth pinkerton would actually have a girlfriend as opposed to someone who just wanted to fuck around with her. but alas, we've been together for a little over a month now, and i love it. it's absolutely amazing, so much so that it's hard for me to describe. she's 23, beautiful, works at a research company, lives in rochester, amazing blue eyes. anayway...
i turn 21 on monday and i can't wait. i'm gonna go out for a few drinks sunday night at midnight bc i have to work monday morning. but monday night i'm going all fucking out. it's my birthday how could i not? i got tuesday off so i don't have to worry about that.
july 27th i'm going to brooklyn with mary to see sandy play. so that'll be fun. i haven't been down tot he nyc in awhile. then in august mary and i are going to main to stay in jaimes cabin with jaime and sandy. it'll be a good time. i'm not a huge fan of camping, but i think the 4 of us will have a good time anyway. oh, did i mention no running water...
kevin comes home for a visit in about 8 days. very excited about that. i miss him a lot, more than he knows i think. so i'm real excited to just be able to spend some time with him. he's been doing good in new jersey i guess, but he called me last night just to hear a familiar voice, so i think he misses home a bit.
other than that not too much has been going on. i am going to go get dressed now bc i want some lunch, and i haven't hit up the bagel shop in a long time, so i may swing by there.
p.s. if you haven't seen moore's fahrenheit 9/11 i strongly strongly STRONGLY suggest it! it was amazing...but i would advise not to go alone, i needed someone to debrief with afterwards.

my bfs back and you're gonna be in trouble

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 18:27:10 GMT

kevins home this weekend and i am all sorts of excited! i've missed him sooo much. i'm currently in geneseo in the copa in the union. he had to come down today to take some sort of a test and i said i would go with him. however i haven't seen anyone i know. i'm only here for like an hour, so i don't have much time anyway. tonight me him and ian are gonna go over to mary's for some good old fashion drinking. i'm pretty excited. i'm thinking about buying some 151 and takin ian up on his offer for a "shot for shot" match. hahaha, he'll lose.
not much else to report, been hanging out in the city a lot with nichole, mary and caroline. good girls.
i got a job at delta sonic, which means that i did in fact pass my drug test, so thats cool. i was nervous about it, but i guess that shit i bought to clean my system really worked.
hope all is well with all of you. see ya later.

bored...clearly...

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 06:59:15 GMT

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

ANGER--
1. Who did you last get angry with? jeff
2. What is your weapon of choice? knife
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? yes, if they deserved it
4. How about of the same sex? yes, if they deserved it
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? i dont know, porbably jeff
6. What is your pet peeve? bad breath, close minded people who don't or won't educate themselves
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? i keep them, i cant help it. i can forgive but i just can't forget...and sometimes i'm not really sure i can forgive

SLOTH--
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? hmm...nothing i guess, i don't think theres anyting i'm "supposed" to do...its my life
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 4pm
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: this woman annie
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? my grandmas sick
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? nope
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? haha, like 2 months ago
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? 6 maybe?

GLUTTONY--
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? nothing, i'm cheap
2. Meat eaters: mmm...meat...
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? like 8 beers, 3 mixed drinks, and some shots...i regretted that one...
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? no
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? yes
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? equally sweet and salty
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"? haha...no

LUST--
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? 14 that i can think of off hand...
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family?): 6 maybe
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? haha...oh yeah
4. Have you "done it"? yes
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? hands...and i like how these questions are not heterosexist...nice...
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? no
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? yes

GREED--
1. How many credit cards do you own? one...but its debit
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? old navy and target
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? charity, car, house
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? rich
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? maybe for awhile, but not too long
6. Have you ever stolen anything? yes
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? over a thousand

PRIDE--
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? being openly gay and helping others to see that they can be too
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? my grades
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? open a gay youth center
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? sometimes, but not usually
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? nope
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? yes
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? i can't really think of anything

ENVY--
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? kevins lancer
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? julia and meghab...bc they'd be so much fun, and we could make fun of alex "no eyes"
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? i don't think i would want to...i may want what they have, but i wouldn't want to BE them. shit, thats a lie, i'd like to be ashley olsen...
4. Have you ever been cheated on? i don't think so...and i hope not...
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? every day
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? to dance...real real well...
7. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? lust...sweet sweet lust...

SEVEN HEAVENLY VIRTUES

FAITH--
1. What religion do you follow? catholic on paper, but i don't follow one. i believe in god and i believe that i do not need some sort of "government" between us
2. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? human
3. Do you believe in magic? yes
4. What was the last promise you broke? i don't wanna say
5. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? yeah
6. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? nope

HOPE--
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? yes, i had my health and my family had theirs...
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? to be happy..i just ant to be happy
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? yeah, i can't help it
4. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? maybe like 3 times
5. Do you gamble? not really
6. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? no

CHARITY--
1. What causes do you support? gay pride, equality, aids, cancer, youth organizations, and anything to get bush out of office
2. What causes have you given money or time to? i don't really have any money
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? yeah a few
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group? maybe if i didn't see my life going in america going anywhere...
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? almost every time
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? yeah of course...that's what we're there for
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? i've given up money, my house, i've lied, i've cheated..alsmot anything as long as i know they need it bad and i'm not hurting anyone

FORTITUDE--
1. What are you most afraid of? forever being alone and being unhappy...and germs...
2. What did you do today that was really brave? walked over this girls vomit outside the bar
3. Who is your favorite super hero, and why? the nance
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? yes
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? more brains
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? haha, yeah...and ran my ass right off the stage
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? a leader when i'm confident and a follower when i'm not

JUSTICE--
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? yes
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it? find a way out of it for SOO many reasons
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? no
4. Which should be guaranteed legal? huh? i don't understand this question
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? --was he rightfully elected? fuck no!! frikkin' florida screwing shit up...
6. What was your favorite media circus trial? oj

TEMPERANCE--
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? keepinh my mouth shut about my personal life and about my feelings
2. Do you collect anything? not anymore
3. Are you addicted to anything? cigarettes
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? no, but i'm on a waiting list for the da vinci code at my library
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? cash
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do? been too open
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? oh yeah

PRUDENCE--
1. Who is the wisest person you know? the nance...again...
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? yes
3. Do you take advice when it's given? depends on who its from
4. What area are you wisest in? emotions and gay rights
5. Do you drive defensively? sometimes
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? yes
7. What did you learn today? that i passed my drug test...whew...

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 18:13:15 GMT

Bold for movies you've seen.. Italics for movies you have partially seen... add three more at the end that you have seen... pass it along.. yada yada yada.

01. Trainspotting
02. Shrek
03. M
04. Dogma
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Bride
07. Love Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
09. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
11. Reservoir Dogs
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead - the original, George Romero-directed film, that is
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job
25. Goonies
26. Baseketball
27. The Spice Girls Movie
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Safety of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo
34. Monsters Inc.
35. Circle of Friends
36. Mary Poppins
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange
40. Kindergarten Cop
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen
47. The Crow
48. The Princess and the Warrior
49. Seabiscuit
50. Hard Core Logo
51. Phantom of the Paradise
52. Zardoz
53. Lost in Translation
54. American Beauty
55. Big Fish
56. Starship Troopers
57. Starship Troopers 2
58. The Lost Boys
59. All About Eve
60. Showgirls
61. Swept Away - The remake with Madonna
62. Fight Club
63. Frida
64. Lucia y el sexo
65. The Negotiator
66. Usual Suspects
67. Ordinary Decent Criminal
68. Ringu
69. Nosferatu (the original silent film)
70. The Boondock Saints
71. Secretary
72. Legend
73. Repo Man
74. Sexy Beast
75. The Seventh Cross
76. Fatherland
77. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
78. Princess Mononoke
79. Cannibal the Musical
80. Lilo and Stitch
81. Star Wars
82. High Fidelity
83. Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban
84. Girl Interrupted
85. Ed Wood
86. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
87. Gummo
88. Sling Blade
89. Robin Hood Prince of Thieves
90. Amelie
91. Bowling for Columbine

92. Cecil B. Demented

93. Identity

94. Seven

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 18:32:08 GMT

I am a Hippy

Which America Hating Minority Are You?

Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons

Mon, 31 May 2004 16:52:57 GMT

Q: Why did all the dinosaurs die?

A: Beacause you touch yourself at night.

thanks ed...that's hysterical...

Wed, 26 May 2004 05:49:56 GMT

So not much new has been going on. Aunt Bonnie gave me her old car, a Mercury Tracer, so that was VERY nice of her. Ian helped me put in my CD player into it today. I enjoy it, mostly because it's 4 doors and it's free.

I've been sick for a little over a week now. I have this sore throat that is killer and I can't get it to go away...in addition to dizziness when I stand, rapid heart rate, and green liquid coming out of everywhere. Gross...I know...

Linked below are just some pics I wanted to share:

Your favorite Law and ORder angel and mine

I know it's sick...but they're so damn hot

Lou from Strong Medicine on Lifetime. Sponge bath please...

Should I get my hair cut like this again?

Damnit Meghan!!! Come back from Russia!

I miss Big Blue and these three people, bastards all going away and shit...

Fri, 21 May 2004 06:07:23 GMT

I want to be with you, inside you
I want to be able to feel you,
to feel the deepest part inside of you
I want to taste you, touch you, love you
fuck you
My fingers stretch across linen to reach you
My hand pleads to grace you
Arms yearn to blanket you like a simple shadow
My tounge can dance across your stomach
down to your hips
I want to sample your thighs,
spreading them wider to get a better taste

clearly i'm bored

Sun, 09 May 2004 05:44:36 GMT

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: beth
-- Birth date: july 12, 1983
-- Nickname: beth ann, pinkerton, pinkerbutt, pinkerslut, bethy p, pinky, pink
-- Current Location: the den
-- Eye Color: brown
-- hair color: brown
-- Height: 6'2"
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: cancer

LAYER TWO:
-- The shoes you wore today: blue and white adidas
-- Your weakness: too emotional, wear my heart on my sleeve
-- Your fears: never finding someone who loves me as much as i love them....and germs
-- Your perfect pizza: cheese, with blue cheese. mias pizza actually, and i have to be wasted
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: to be happy forever and have an amazing partner and a job i love

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: brb, clearly, also in addition to plus
-- Your thoughts when you first wake up: i wanna roll over and go back to sleep
-- Your best physical feature: nose, and left leg from calf down
-- Your bedtime: 2am-4am
-- Most missed memory: the beginning of college when all i did was drink and not think about my future or anything else that upset me. that lasted til about october break...

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: coca cola classic
-- McDonald's or Burger King: def not burger king, mcdonalds is ok, but wendys is my fav
-- Adidas or Nike: addidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: both good
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

LAYER FIVE:
-- Cuss: like a sailor
-- Sing: whenever i can, i miss it sooo much
-- Take a shower everyday: most of the time
-- Have a crush(es): yes, when does beth pinkerton NOT have one
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes
-- Want to go to college: i go to college currently
-- Like(d) high school: it was okay, only when it was like junior senior year. that is until i got into the trouble with the police...then it sucked for awhile
-- Want to get married: yes...if this country ever lets me, but lets not get me started on that
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes, but not usually. i used to, but i lost it somewhere along the way
-- Get motion sickness: i agree with cpher...i never used to, but lately i do
-- Think you're attractive: sometimes i like my face
-- Think you're a health freak: hahaha...no!
-- Get along with your parents: yeah
-- Play an instrument: played cello in 8th grade but i was so bad they made me practice in the hallway. and i sing, if that counts.

LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Had Sex: i think so...maybe it was like 5 weeks ago
-- Made Out: haha...yeah
-- Gone on a date: maybe
-- Gone to the mall?: today actually
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
-- Eaten sushi: no, but i stomached it for the first time like 2 months ago
-- Been on stage: yes for the laramie project. amazing...
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: nope, don't know how
-- Made homemade cookies: haha, no...have you seen me bake? yeah, you don't want to
-- Gone skinny dipping: no, skinny dipping makes me feel uncomfortable
-- Dyed your hair: no sir, my due job from feria box #41 is still going strong
-- Stolen anything: no

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
-- Been caught "doing something": too many times to count
-- Been called a tease: yes
-- Gotten beaten up: nope
-- Shoplifted: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: i hope not

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: whenever i can support myself and am in love
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2-4 kids girls: amelia, rory, anica, scout/ boys: jonas, jonah, rory, jem
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: on the beach, in simple dresses, barfoot
-- How do you want to die: i don't like to think about death, but painless
-- Where you want to go to college: well i go to geneseo state. but right now i'd like to go to NYC so i could go to school with my girls, mary-kate and ashley :)
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: i want to work with gay youth
-- What country would you most like to visit: england

LAYER NINE:
-- Best eye color? green or bright blue
-- Best hair color? don't care
-- Short or long hair: don't care, i enjoy both
-- Height: everyone's shorter than me, so i don't get much of a choice
-- Best weight: don't care
-- Best articles of clothing: jeans and a tshirt
-- Best first date location: back seat of my car. just kidding kust kidding! probably an amusement park and dinner
-- Best first kiss location: like on my body or actual geographic location? well on my body lips or neck, location it really doesn't matter

LAYER TEN:
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 4
-- Number of CDs that I own: i have no idea and don't feel like counting
-- Number of piercings: 13
-- Number of tattoos: 3
-- Number of cars you own: one

Wed, 05 May 2004 06:48:26 GMT

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	11
your best quality is	people envy you
your worst quality is	youre a litle vain (who isnt)
this is because	youre true to yourself

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

and then a hero comes along

Wed, 05 May 2004 04:04:17 GMT

my soul has returned...and in the nick of time. loving it and loving him...

i gotta get to the libs (said in 'gotta get a stir stick' voice)

Mon, 03 May 2004 14:36:19 GMT

so i have my criminal justice final today. it's schedualed fior 6:45pm, but i think i'm gonna go take it at like 12 or 1. because once it's out of the way, i can spend the rest of the day working on chemistry. which is tomorrow morning at 8am, and i am SO scared it's sick. yikes....

i talked with jeff for a long time last night, we hooked up our webcams together so we could see one another. it was kind of fun, we got a kick out of it. he's coming home no monday. so i'm looking forward to that.

my allergies are on a mutha fuckin rampage. my eyes are red and swollen, as is the skin around them, and i sneeze every 45 seconds. blast...

i'm currently sitting here in my bra because it's so fuckin hot in my room that it's unbearable to sleep or even sit comfortably. i need some big guy weather, i feel.

this weekend i went to albany with sean and sybil. the night before we had a wine party at sybils, but i housed some beer instead because wine tastes like vicks formula 44....yick. i got a little drunk, but enjoyed myself greatly. the next day at like the ass carck of dawn (at least to me it was because i was hung over, i think it was really only like 9:30am) we left for albany. it was fun times, met cooley, he's a good guy. went to see sandy stones play and rocked out a bit. then back to the rochester district.

but alas, chilluns, i must depart. i have to go pick up the documentary from brodie, then go to the libs til i take my final. then back to the libs to study for chemistry, then back here to pass out.

but tonight...i will be the happiest girl in the world..even though i won't see them yet...

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 07:36:12 GMT

it 3:30am...i'm fuckin exaughsted but i have to finish this fuckin paper by 8am. bastards.

i got an odd phone call from kevin...i'll disclose more informtaion when i have his permission.

i find out in about 7 hours about uncle pat...

my criminal justice prof has only been two 2 classes since the last exam, i say the final shoulnt count. he emailed out a review sheet, but only to the first half of the class. wtf mate...i'm going to the chair. and seeing that i'll see him at 8am, we can chat then...

feeling kinda lonely lately and i hate that feeling...blast.

still no job for the summer...kinda fucked. gonna get on that as soon as finals are done.

watched the documentary today about being gay at geneseo (dont worry jen and julie, i'm getting a copy so you'll be able to see it)

had dinner with IVCF (inter varsity christian fellowship) it went well besides a little something at the end. but overall a good dinner...and damn that food was good.

600 of the new incoming freshman had SAT scores fo 1400 or higher...i feel dumb

i need to start packing but can't bring myself to do it.

i missed my induction to the international sociological honor society today due to the damn chem review...

my dad mailed me a pamphlet about counseling and a 5 dollar bill...i think he's trying to tell me something

i'm not polas babysitter. get over it...

i have a small infection on the outside of my left nostril

due to bloating i have to sit at the computer with my pants undone...ive got the bleed, lay off

jeff hates me and i dont know if we will ever talk again after the shit he pulled tonight

theres a lot of people i dont know if i ever really wanna talk to again...

must go write paper now bye
p.s. i just realized that my whole life i have been spelling "EXHAUSTED" like this..."EXAUGHSTED" what the fuck was i thinking??

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 23:21:21 GMT

Gay or Not Gay? by tashay17
LJ Name
Favorite Color
Gay or Not Gay?	Gay... very gay

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!